Just Stranded On A Boat
by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus
Summary: Phosphora gets bored of doing nothing, but she then discovers a rather strange boat heading out into the sea. Now, she finds herself stuck on it with Wario and Midna. As if things couldn't possibly get anymore awkward...
1. Chapter 1

It was a pretty boring night at the Smash Mansion, with Phosphora being on the rooftop of the mansion as she sighed, sitting down as she hand her hands on her face, with the white winged angel Pit coming up to the rooftop to see her, approaching her.

"Oh, hey Pit, you simply adorable angel boy." Phosphora stated as she glanced behind her to see Pit, smiling as she held her hands together.

"Hey, Phosphora. What are you doing up here alone?" Pit asked as he rubbed the back of his head with his right hand.

Phosphora sighed as she shrugged, shaking her head. "Oh, nothing, I just got bored. How's your old fart of a goddess?"

Pit began sweating nervously as he waved his hands, shaking his head. "Shhh... you know how Lady Palutena doesn't like it when you call her old. Plus, she does... fart on me as punishment..." He shuddered in disgust as he closed his eyes.

Phosphora laughed as she turned around, standing up and folding her arms. "So old hag Palutena is gross, too? Huh. Never figured that she was a hypocrite." She just smiled as she moved her right hand around. "Anyway, you know if anyone is having a party, or something? Because it sure is boring around here."

Pit rubbed the back of his head with his right hand as he shook his head. "N-not that I'm aware of. Why did you ask me?"

Phosphora, however, didn't bother to answer, as she noticed a small boat heading out into the sea. "Hey... is that a boat?"

Pit turned around to see the boat, nodding his head in agreement. "Why, yes, it does appear to be..." He couldn't finish his sentence as Phosphora pushed him out of the way, zipping like lightning to the boat. "Oww! Phosphora!"

Phosphora didn't bother to look back, as she reached the boat, standing on the poop deck as she smiled, getting a good view of the ocean, the moon shining in the water's reflecting. She stretched her arms out, smiling. "Now this is more like it! An actual event occurring!'

"HEY!" Wario growled as he emerged from the interior, kicking Phosphora in the butt. "Get off of my boat, you blonde bitch! This belongs-a to me!"

"Yeow!" Phosphora exclaimed as she rubbed her injured butt, glaring at Wario. 'How dare you, you fat selfish oaf!" She then zapped Wario with lightning, frying the fat, yellow clad man.

"Wah... ow." Wario coughed as he fell on his back, being injured. "Augh... is that all... you got...?"

"Wario, what's the commotion?" Midna asked as she stepped out, seeing Phosphora as she sighed, placing her right hand on her face. "Oh, you gotta be kidding me."

"What?" Phosphora stated as she puffed her chest, towering over Midna. "Can't a fellow female Assist Trophy get into the action for once?"

"No, especially when this was a personal date between me and my wonderfully fat hubbie?" Midna hissed as she gently rubbed her left hand on the sizzled Wario. "Don't worry, my big love... I'll get more garlic for you..."

Phosphora just smirked as she folded her arms. "And you also partake in Baneposting. Good to know." She was then punched in the stomach by an annoyed Midna, groaning in pain as she collapsed on her knees. "Owww! My tummy!"


	2. Chapter 2

Phosphora, Wario, and Midna were still all on the boat that was drifting out into sea, with Wario and Mida sitting next to each other as Phosphora was sitting across from them.

"So... how long have you two been hanging out?" Phosphora asked as she brushed her blonde hair back with her left hand.

Midna smiled as she held hands with Wario. "Oh, for a good long while. I'll tell you what, it definitely was experience that I'm glad happened. Wario was kind enough to show me some of his moves off the battlefield, and he let me have some of his garlic."

"Yeah. Midna's such a sweety, she even showed me the ruppees hidden within her twilight realm. It was a-great, wahaha!" Wario laughed as he glanced back at Midna with sparkles in his eyes, making the imp giggle.

Phosphora sighed as she folded her arms. "So, I see how that went. Anyway, how are we gonna get out of here?"

"...what do you mean, how do we get out?" Wario and Mida both stated in unison as they turned to Phosphora.

Phosphora's right eye twitched as she gawked in disbelief. "You mean to tell me that neither of you two know how to steer a boat?"

Midna blinked a couple of times as she faced Wario, tilting her head to the right. "Have you ever learned, my chubby dear?"

Wario just shrugged in response. "No. I got too lazy."

"...Then we didn't learn." Midna responded to Phosphora, glancing back at her.

Phosphora began chuckling, then started laughing as she stood up, screaming as she pulled her blonde hair, running around the boat. She then stopped as she realized something.

"Oh wait, I'm a goddess." Phosphora remarked as she attempted to fly, but was suddenly pulled down to the ground as she landed flat on her stomach, groaning in pain. "oww! What prank is this?"

* * *

Back at the Smash Mansion, Lady Palutena chuckled as she had placed a spell on Phosphora, having heard of the conversation she had with Pit through mind reading.

"So, you still think I'm old, eh...?" Palutena stated as she licked her lips. "Deal with not being able to fly, you blonde bitch. Ha ha ha ha!"


	3. Chapter 3

Phosphora's stomach grumbled as she sighed, placing her hands on her rumblimg belly. Wario was picking his nose with his right finger while Mida was scratching her butt.

"Ugh, am I hungry. Do you two morons have anything to eat on this boat?" Phosphora asked as she glanced at the two.

Midna burped loudly as Wario laughed heartily, with Phosphora growling as she was quite annoyed.

"Did that answer your question?" Midna responded with a sly smirk as she stretched her arms.

Phosphora stood up, approaching Midna and picking the imp up. "Listen up, you ugly fat sack of crap, how can there be no more food on this boat?"

"Hey! Don't you dare insult my girlfriend!" Wario remarked as he performed a shoulder bash attack on Phosphora, knocking her down and causing her to let go of Midna.

"Oww! Why did you attack me for telling the truth!?" Phosphora growled as she glared at Wario. "You two are like twins! So slobby, and pudgy! You're like Cartman!"

Wario and Midna squinted as they glanced at each other, then back at Phosphora.

"Who?" They replied, with Phosphora's eyes shrinking as she sweatdropped.

"You... don't know who he is!?" Phosphora stated in disbelief as she was going to comment on their social status not being up to date, when she felt another rumble in her stomach. "Ourgh! Oh man...!"

"Hey! You better not have a baby while on board! I ain't no doctor!" Wario stated as he folded his arms together.

"Baby!? I'm famished, you moron!" Phosphora snapped as she kicked Wario in the stomach, which in turn made her bend over in pain as she felt her stomach rumble more. "Yeargh...! Why me...!?"

Midna took a good glance at Phosphora's body, not being impressed by how the goddess looked. Suddenly, much to everyone's shock, Phosphora farted a big, brassy tuba toot on Midna, her butt blast of gas being strong enough to blow the twilight midget off the boat and into the water. Phosphora had a mad red blush on her face, with Wario pushing her to the side and jumping into the water to rescue his beloved.

"That... was just fart gas the entire time..." Phosphora mumbled to herself as she was lying flat on her stomach, being in disbelief as she let out a cute little poot afterwards, feeling embarrassed for farting in front of Wario and Midna.

"Are you okay-a, my sweet-a?" Wario asked as he looked at Midna eye to eye.

Midna nodded, giving Wario a quick smooch on the chin as she casted a glare at Phosphora. "I'm fine.. the water didn't bother me that much, but that lightning freak on the other hand..."

Wario turned around, glaring at Phosphora too, who stood up and turned around, confused as to why both of them were glaring daggers at her.

"What?" Phosphora stated in her defense as she moved her arms around, shaking her head. "Almost everyone farts! Don't look at me as if I did something not natural!" She farted a wet toot, causing her to lower her head in shame as Wario and Midna both began laughing at her expense.


End file.
